Stephanie

Everything from that day is a blur. everything up until the point I come home from school. I got a phone call, it's Rosetta. She said "Do you know Stephanie Kinghorn?" "Umm Yeah" I said. "Did you know she died today?" A million thoughts run through my head. I envisioned a car accident. "What? Shut up. How did she die?" "She killed herself". Tears are streaming down my face. I'm in disbelief. She was so beautiful, had so much potential. I really wanted to become better friends with her. "Ok I love you, talk to you later." I called my friend Alisha. She came over almost immediately. We sat and talked and cried. I called my friend Kristina, sobbing uncontrollably. How could this be happening? I must be dreaming. Almost six years ago, it feels like yesterday. Rest in peace angel. Miss you more than I could have ever imagined.

It's Official...

The 10 Day Fast has begun. I will be strong. I will not give in,no matter what. It's not going to be easy, but nothing that's worth it is. I have to do this. I have to do this now.

How to be Anorexic

I've been getting a lot of e-mails from some of you asking how to be anorexic. Let me make something clear: You don't just wake up one morning and decide "I want to be anorexic today". Anorexia is a disorder, and like most disorders, it develops over time. I can't tell you how to be anorexic, but I can show you how anorexics think when it comes to food.

You must first ask yourself: Why do I want to be skinny? Write it down and remind yourself of it often. It will come in handy when you're tempted to binge.

1. Make a journal- you can do this on paper or online. Online is better, as you are less likely to be found out. Blog whenever you binge. It will serve as a reminder of the repercussions and how bad eating makes you feel.

2. Cut out pictures of models and actresses who are thin. Keep this someplace, like your purse, and look at it whenever you are tempted to eat. Remember, these people don't eat. That's why they're so beautiful.

3. Count your calories. Even on a binge day, you should never ever exceed 500 calories. You can eat whatever you want, as long as you consume less than 500 calories for the whole day. If you have a piece of pizza, that might be about 200 calories. NEVER eat anything unless you know how many calories you're consuming. Don't trick yourself into believing that you're consuming less calories than you are.

4. Fasting is an effective and relatively healthy way to lose weight quickly. From my experience, it's the fastest way to lose weight. Don't take my word for it, do your own research. Look up water fasting and juice fasting on a search engine.
Fasting is also very dangerous. You will be tempted to eat throughout your whole fast. The second food touches your lips, you will binge. It's important to keep only healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables nearby. Your metabolism will have slowed down during the fast, and your body will want to store everything you eat as fat. This is why how you break fast is more important than fasting itself. A mixture of cayenne pepper and lemon juice to break your fast is a great way to give your metabolism the boost it needs.

5. Laxies (laxatives) and suppositories are great for immediate weight loss. Used the day before an event can easily make you look 10 pounds thinner. Know that laxatives will not rush food out of your body, and are taken to APPEAR thinner. They will not make you lose weight. It's also easy to become dependant on them, even if abused for a short period of time. Trust me from personal experience, it's not pleasant and can take months to get your system working normally again.

6. Diuretics are also great for quick weight loss. Some foods, such as parsley, asparagus act as natural diuretics. They will make you look thinner, but won't make you lose weight. It's important to rehydrate after event.

Beauty.

thin is beautiful.

Binge.

Fail.

I'm too stressed with exams to think about fasting right now. I need full functionality of my brain. The day exams are done, I'm going on a 10 day all water fast. I need at least two full days to recover from my fast, where no one is pressuring me to eat anything and I can slowly break it, or I WILL binge. Ugh. Maybe I'll go vegan, then I can have reason to be picky about what I eat. hmmm...